• Varu Dwarak

Happiness is a choice that you make!

Updated: Sep 4, 2020

As I stood right in front of the mirror after a relaxing cleansing session, I questioned myself. Is it okay to smile with braces on? Is it ok to cut my hair short? Does my dark circle make me look old? Is my eyebrow too thick? Do I need to have an iPhone 11? Is it okay to have chin hair? Damn, Seema seems happy and successful! What am I doing with my life? Is it okay to fall in love with a random person? Do I love myself? My tummy has grown another inch, do I need to start my dieting? Am I really happy?

I am so much Carrie Bradshaw when it comes to self-loathing, though I love Samantha Jones. She is courageous and vivacious even in her 40s. As I speak about self-loathing and

self-doubts, the pattern seemed quite distinct. I stumble upon my friend’s instagram feed or

story, I fall prey to the false pretence. And, it takes at least a few days for me to get back to

normalcy. Well, you may wonder how predictable and timid I must be. You might as well be

right. You’ll be posting loads of engaging content, so be sure to keep your blog organized with Categories that also allow visitors to explore more of what interests them.

Just like how Siddhartha got his enlightenment under Bodi tree, I had that episode too. That

happened exactly a year ago. During that process great things happened. Firstly, I fell in love

with myself, then, I started trusting in the process I set for myself.

My episode of enlightenment = Social Media Detox

I was rooted to my physical appearance a lot and thought that is something important for me to become quite eminent. I also banked on my followers, likes, shares, etc. A quintessential

teen-to-adult transition phase, it was. I would not lie, coming out of this phase was harder than I expected. I wanted a huge break from this mindset, as well as social media.

I deleted all my accounts and shifted to meeting people I knew. I developed interest in knowing the stories of different people out there. The job I took up complemented that part quite well. I was given an opportunity to build a community of women entrepreneurs who are self-dependent financially and cover stories on how they achieved their dreams. Their stories inspired me to tread a different path for myself personally and professionally.

That was my first opening to completely quit social media and take up something that seemed right. I have interviewed 200 women and have flown across states and cities to meet them and listen to their stories. It was exhilarating and made me understand, something huge which eventually lead me to the path of enlightenment.

Here is what my enlightenment taught me

I was in search of validation from someone else to make myself happy;

I was blindly following the cosmetic energy than the cosmic energy;

I was so lost and restless.

I was in despair that was pointless and imaginary;

And then, I pulled myself out of that black hole

And threw myself to the vast universe,

That had its arms wide open for ages.

As I floated in admiration,

The universe guided me to a place-

And, that was myself.

The choice I made

I understood that happiness is something I choose. If I had chosen a path to compare myself

and Seema, I may have fallen in love with comparison rather than falling in love with her or

myself. I chose to see the great things people did. I chose to see my growth as a person in the last 5 years. I chose to wear an appreciative lens when I viewed the world. I chose to meet people, I chose to listen to peoples’ stories, I chose to quit social media, I chose to pursue Samantha Jones. I chose happiness by making my choices for myself.

I am not saying Social media doesn’t give happiness. No way! If I had thought that I would not be running a women based community on Facebook successfully. I chose what I should take and what I shouldn’t. That clarity is my happiness and I am really happy for me being able to make that choice without any hesitation. To all the Carrie Bradshaws out there, you are happy when you feel you are. It could be when you buy your Jimmy Choos or it could be when you embrace your flaws. All that you have to do is pick what you love and do stick to it. Time to make your choice then?

With love,

From myself to myself!

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